Things that are annoying me:
- Smoke detectors. You knew something didn't seem right. You felt yourself getting weaker. But you tried to keep on working just the same, bravely not revealing your waning strength. Then finally came the moment when you could hide the truth from yourself, from others, no more... and you started making that friggin' "Peep! .... Peep!" noise at 4:30 in the morning so somebody (me!) would go change your battery. Honestly. Couldn't manufacturers design a better smoke detector that beeps during the day instead, or at least before 11 p.m.?
- Asshole drivers and cyclists. You may be driving a Hummer, you may be virtuously peddling along on two wheels, but either way, you act like the most important thing in the world is that you get where you're going, and to hell with anybody else. I've seen SUV's run red lights and cyclists zoom past me on the sidewalk. Thankfully, I have yet to see an SUV on the sidewalk, but let me tell you, I'm tired of your ass. I'm tempted to carry water balloons full of water died with red food coloring. Or ketchup. Maybe I'll use organic ketchup if I'm feeling kind.
- People on BART who don't offer seats to obviously pregnant women. Oh, no, don't worry about me. You keep on reading your trashy novel. I like standing here. That lump on my abdomen? It's not a baby; it's a helium balloon! It's taking all the weight off my feet, so don't worry about getting up and letting me sit down. Oh you weren't going to anyway, you dick.
- People who keep typing things like "LOL" and saying "u" instead of "you" on pregnancy messageboards. U know, it's cool, if u don't mind looking like a moron, I don't mind either! LOL! Just don't try teaching your kid reading and writing, because it's going to be a disaster.
O.K., I think I've been bitchy enough for one evening. (You can blame the smoke detector. And my bladder.)
