Random: April 2004 Archives

Rutgers students apologize for Holocaust cartoon

The editors of Rutgers University's student-run humor newspaper apologized yesterday for a cartoon mocking the Holocaust and promised to institute a new policy to review potentially offensive material.

The weekly newspaper should never have printed the full-page drawing depicting a "Knock a Jew in the Oven" game, the staff of the Medium said in a five-paragraph letter distributed on the New Brunswick campus. The cartoon appeared on the April 21 cover.

No shit, Sherlock.What is wrong with people?

On another topic, I discovered a new (to me, that is) blog, today: Jewschool

"Hahahha, Little Pe-nis U Have styphelia dictation..." says the not very loving Jeanetta Lovie. "Waste A Few Bucks To Increase Ur Sizeee encaustic" proposes Devin Valentine. Well, they've certainly got the male, spelling-challenged, bulging-walleted, low-self-esteemed market cornered, don't they?

As Alfred_94_Matthews@msn.com puts it, "joy bemoan"!

As I was walking back to work, I saw ten taxis drive by in a row, all blue, all advertising a new shark exhibit at the Monterey Bay Aquarium (which I'd love to revisit). Then I noticed each taxi also had a shark fin atop its roof. A clever, 3-D approach to vehicle advertising!

Wonder how they'd advertise Viagra, Levitra, or Cialis on the cabs?

I just got a horrifying piece of spam. The subject line warns me:

Caffine causes pen1s shrinkage

Say it isn't so! Oh wait, I'm female! Never mind. Phew!

From today's Chronicle forecast for Pieces: "Emotions erupt under the influence of volatile Uranus." EW!

So, what would you do if you were a drug company with a drug that was supposed to help men, um, you know... er... achieve, um... gosh, I can't say it! I'm blushing!

Drop the shyness and euphemisms, that's what! The latest ad for Levitra apparently does just that, according to CNN. 

The Levitra ad, slated to begin airing Thursday, features an attractive brunette saying the drug improves erection quality and how that experience increases her partner's desire to "do this more often."

"For him Levitra works -- just look at that smile," she purrs.

Meanwhile, Viagra is trying to capitalize on brand-name recognition and loyalty, while Cialis plans to stay the course. "Cialis' marketers have no plans to substantially change their campaign. The ads mention erectile dysfunction because it was the only way the companies believed they could fully explain the benefits of a 36-hour window of opportunity." Do tell.

If the makers of Levitra and Cialis are trying to gain name recognition, I have a modest proposal. Based on the amount of junk email and comment-bombing I receive invoking those two brands, I say we retire the word "Spam", give Hormel a break, and retitle those unwanted communications. "Oh, man, all that Cialis brought my server crashing to its knees." "If I get any more Levitra in my Yahoo Mail account, I'm going to have to upgrade to a bigger mailbox." Who's with me on this one? Anybody?

In the last couple of days, I have inspired controversy and debate, and earned the ire of 1) a guy who isn't really Japanese and thinks the Palestinians shouldn't have a country because they don't have their own currency or language and 2) a South African practitioner of the Nigerian scam. So I'm going to pick a topic that shouldn't inspire any controversy at all or piss anybody off.

What the hell is going on with store alarms lately? You know, the ones that detect if someone's trying to walk out the door with merchandise that hasn't been paid for. For some reason, I've been setting off alarms at several shops, from Dress Barn to Longs, lately. Not just when I leave, though — it happens when I walk in the door. It's very annoying. Is it my phone? Do I just look guilty or something? What? What did I do? Did the South African spammers sic them on me?

Oh, and I can't resist controversy or politics after all. John Ashcroft nobly testified today that it was all the Clinton's administration's fault. And Bush is on now speaking inspirationally and eloquently. They're both lying sacks of shit. I am so, so tired of having lack of support for Bush's stupid policies being equated to lack of support of the troops. Poor guys. There's nothing like slaving away and knowing your boss is an idiot, is there?

Oh, and memo to Bush: "Suiciders" is not a word.

And one of their leaders there wants there to be no picnics, for real. Customarily Moroccan Jews have annual celebrations each year at the end of Passover, when they invite people into their homes and have lavish cookouts in parks. But now, this is somehow considered a bad thing.

"Sam Ben-Sheetrit, chairman of the World Federation of Moroccan Jewry, said Thursday that the yearly outdoor 'Maimouna' celebration boosts the stereotypes, and he wants it to stop 'because it humiliates us...We don't want to see any more Maimouna television pictures of Moroccans jumping up and down with glasses of (liquor) in their hands.'"

OK, first of all, those picnics sound totally cool. I wanna be invited to one. Second, Morocco has this amazing culture that nobody should ever look down upon. Also, I have a cookbook of Jewish recipes from around the world, and let me tell you... as much as I love matzoh ball soup and the odd gefilte fish, it's the Sephardic recipes that really make me drool. Perhaps the mocking stems from a culinary/cultural inferiority complex from somebody else? Hmmm?

So if I were one of those Moroccan/Israeli Jews, I'd happily ignore pronouncements against my picnic and go light the barbeque. Frankly, that sounds like a tradition that needs to be spread far and wide.

I don't have anything brilliant to say about Condi Rice's testimony (bad) or how the war in Iraq is going (worse). Bleh.

But there is this great article in The Onion this week.Information management can be such a dry subject; it's great to see a little search engine humor.

SUNNYVALE, CA—Hoping it will push them to the top of an increasingly competitive market, Internet portal Yahoo has added soul-search capabilities to its expanding line of search tools, company executives announced Monday.

"Capable of navigating the billions of thoughts, experiences, and emotions that make up the human psyche, the new Yahoo soul-search engine helps users find what's deep inside them quickly and easily," Yahoo CEO Terry Semel said. "All those long, difficult nights of pondering your place in this world are a thing of the past."

Go on, read it

My phone just rang three minutes ago. No number showed up on Caller ID, but I foolishly answered it. "Hello?" Long pause, and then an accented male voice, clearly Indian, said, "Hello Ma'am, I am calling on behalf of Sprint..." So I did my usual number. "Please put me on your do-not-call list." Normally, that little phrase works its magic, and the telemarketer will read me standard legalese ("I will change our records, please allow 4-6 weeks, during which time you may receive additional calls until the changes go through..." blah blah blah) and hang up. Not this time.

"Ma'am, I have no such list."

"You obviously aren't familiar with the law in the U.S. May I speak to your manager?"

Shuffling, then a woman's voice, also Indian. "Hello?"

"Hello. Apparently your employee isn't aware that he's totally breaking the telemarketing laws in the United States. You are required to honor requests from callees when they ask to be put on the do-not-call list."

"Oh. Heh-heh."

"So are you going to honor my request? Or do I have to totally sue you?"

More shuffling, then silence.

They actually broke two laws — apparently now companies are also required to unblock their telephone numbers so they display on Caller ID.

I think I remember getting a previous call from Sprint like this. The fuckers are using low-paid slave workers in India and weasling out of the telemarketing regulations.

In case you couldn't already tell, I'm really annoyed. Anybody else have this experience? Anyone have any luck nailing their sweat-shop running, third-world employee-exploiting, consumer-bugging asses?