Random: February 2006 Archives

This has got to be the stupidest form of plastic surgery I have ever heard of!

When Jeanette Yarborough decided to give her husband a gift for their seventeenth wedding anniversary she wanted it to be special. Really special. She decided that conventional treats such as Mediterranean cruises, gold watches, cars, a murder-mystery weekend, or even a boob job just weren’t going to cut it. She gave him something much more personal — and painful. Her virginity.

Well, sort of. Mrs Yarborough paid $5,000 (£2,860) to a cosmetic surgeon to stitch her hymen back together so she could “lose her virginity” all over again and her husband would have that thrilling conquest at the grand age of 40.

He did, and after that very expensive moment the ecstatic couple spent a passionate Valentine’s weekend last year having the kind of sex that they had almost forgotten about. Now they are busy telling family, friends and strangers that it is the best money they ever spent and everyone should do it.

Why stop there? Roll the clock back to your virginal days, ladies, in every way! For example, when I was a virgin, acid-washed jeans were in and I had a big ole' perm. We're talking poodle hair. And Reagan was still president. Oh, and big shoulder pads were in, too. Yep, those were the days. Yes, after your hymen reconstruction surgery, what a great idea it would be to slip into a pair of pegged skin-tight acid-washed jeans (if you can bend at the middle post-surgery) and... I hope my parents aren't reading this.

Seriously. People PAY FOR THIS CRAP!?!?

Oh, and the fact that women can pay thousands for this ridiculous surgery but can't get the morning-after pill... grrr...

With apologies to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, this Morales guy sounds like a bad egg if there ever was one. I'm sorry, I don't care what drugs you're on — that's no excuse for a brutal murder. He should never see the light of day again.

But still, these comments from the relatives of his victim give one pause.

Brian Pratt, another relative, is unsympathetic to arguments by Morales and his attorneys that the execution ought to be called off.

"I think they ought to bring back hanging or electrocution for this type of crime," said Pratt. "He'll get what he deserves."

Erm. Yeah.

"He's the monster that killed the beauty, and he needs to pay for a crime that was senseless," said Jacqueline Miles, a family friend. "We need to actually show the world that people can't get away with murdering people just because they get mad."

Erm... I think she just summed up the argument against the death penalty!

The Nigerian scam letter is now Portuguese!

Kindest Attention: Sir,

My name(s) are Mr. Boulos Kasstrup from Portugal. I have been diagnosed with Esophageal cancer. It has defiled all forms of medical treatment, and right now I have only about a few months to live, according to medical experts. I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared for anyone (not even myself)but my business. Though I am very rich, I was never generous, I was always hostile to people and only focused on my business as that was the only thing I cared for. But now I regret all this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make all the money in the world. I believe when God gives me a second chance to come to this world I would live my life a different way from how I have lived it.

Now that God has called me, I have willed and given most of my properties and assets to my immediate and extended family members as well as few close friends .I want God to be merciful to me and accept my soul so, I have decided to give alms to charity organizations and those in Need, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth. So far, I have Distributed money to some charity organizations when I was well. Now that my health has deteriorated so badly, I cannot do this myself anymore. I once asked members of my family to close one of my accounts and distribute the money which I have there to charity organization in United States, Asia, Middle East & Europe, they refused and kept the money to themselves.

Hence, I do not trust them anymore, as they seem not to be contended with what I have left for them. The last of my money which no one knows of is the huge cash deposit of Twenty Million United States Dollars ($20, 000, 000.00) that I have with an Asset Management / Vaulting Company Abroad. I will want you to help me collect this deposit and dispatch it to charity organizations and use it to help those in need.

N/B:Kindly note that 40% of this funds must go to victims of Tsunami, Hurricane Katrina , Hurricane Wilma and South Asia Earthquake , 55% to other Charity Organizations around the World and 5% for your effort and time.

I cannot talk with you on the phone due to my health situation, as I am using my Lap Top Computer to communicate with you. You should respond to this e-mail if you are interested in carrying out this assignment on my behalf.

God be with you.

Boulos Kasstrup Mt.
Secured email: boukasstrup@portugalmail.com

Yeah, I hate it when my health problems defile medical treatment too. The doctors get so annoyed when they have to launder all their white coats and stuff.