Random: May 2006 Archives

They didn't name the baby "Apple."

Or, as Michael points out, "Peach Pitt" would be one hell of a combination.

May 29, 2006

OSCAR-WINNING actress Angelina Jolie has given birth to a daughter fathered by Hollywood movie star Brad Pitt.

A representative for the couple said Jolie, 30, gave birth to Shiloh Nouvel Jolie Pitt in Namibia, Africa.

Shiloh Jolie Pitt!?!! Oy... is there a requirement that movie stars have to pick dumb names?

Two letters. One appeals to the twin motivators of sentiment and greed, and the other... just plain old greed.

Hello dear,

I am Barrister Anthony Wesley (LLB), principal partner of Wesley Law Chamber Inc, London, United Kingdom. l am the personal attorney to an expatriate with Uk oil Development Company, United Kingdom who died in an auto crash along South Norwood Highway, London on the 21st of April 1999.

He deposited the sum of Five Million Six Hundred Thousand Great British Pounds in his fixed deposit account with a bank, here in London. All efforts to reach his relatives have proved abortive after his death,l am contacting you following the notice l received from his bank to present

his beneficiary or his account will be declared dormant and unclaimed based on their policy. This mandate compels me to present any of the family's relatives of my late client tohis bank.Since the decease is from your country and also bears same surname with you, l have contacted you to

assist in the claim/transfer of this money to you. I will prepare every necessary documentation as proof , furnish you with adequate information about my late client that will back you up in this claim and l shall provide all legal services to warrant the release of this money to you

within 10 working days after l must have filed in for claim in your favour.l am highly delighted and willing to work with you in this matter and will appreciate if you will acknowledge your interest by forwarding your full names, home address telephone and fax numbers to enable me apply

to his bank for commencement. A copy of my application l etter will be sent to you for your view, update and documentation.You shall be entitled to 35% of the Five Million Six Hundred Thousand Great British Pounds while

5% will be used for any expenditure incurred by you and l.

I look forward to your prompt reply.

Yours sincerely,

Anthony Wesley.

This is a new twist! No dead relatives? No widows of dictators?

Pleasant day,

This is Quanzhoustore Company Ltd. We extract raw materials from Africa for production of textile and fabrics which we supply to our clients in the North American geographical region (United States) and Canada for cloth making.
Now are looking for some representatives over there who can help us receive payments from our customers.This wouldn't affect your present state of work though we are working on setting up some branches over there but for now we need someone who will be handling that aspect, We need people that are responsible and reliable.
Our main factory is located in Africa where we extract raw materials needed for the manufacturing of fabrics,
We are willing to pay $350 for any payment you receive and you can still keep your regular job while you work for us. All you will do is to receive payments from our customers over there.
When those payment deduct $350 and wire the rest to us. But sometimes the FBI gets involved encase someone tries to run with our money.We hope that is okay, If you are interested we will send you an employment letter which you are to sign and send back to me as soon as possible then you have to furnish us with those reqiuremants.
1.Your full name and full contact address.
2.Privite phone number and email address.
3.what do you do for a living presently?
ATTN: It wouldn't cost you any cent, you are to receive payments which will be sent to you from our business partners. Please if you are interested kindly mail us back.
Best regards
Thanks Quanzhoustore Company LTD.
We know you are capable to occuppy this position

Quanzhoustore: Swahilli for "All your money are belong to us, sucker?!?!"

"Jeff N Mattingly" sent me a spam today with the subject heading: "want to make a baby? lelomypu"

Via Jewschool comes a link to this rather vile little screed:

ear Jorge plans to address the nation tonight, a speech wherein he will almost surely attempt to deceive citizens into believing that he does not wish the mass migration from Mexico to continue unabated. He will likely offer some negligible resources for law enforcement and border security – resources which will never materialize – in return for an amnesty program that will grant American citizenship to the Mexican nationals who have helped lower America's wage rates by 16 percent over the last 32 years.

And he will be lying, again, just as he lied when he said: "Massive deportation of the people here is unrealistic – it's just not going to work."

Not only will it work, but one can easily estimate how long it would take. If it took the Germans less than four years to rid themselves of 6 million Jews, many of whom spoke German and were fully integrated into German society, it couldn't possibly take more than eight years to deport 12 million illegal aliens, many of whom don't speak English and are not integrated into American society.

I know you're not supposed to call people like this "Nazis" — Godwin's Law and all — but it's so hard to resist when they're pretty much begging for it.

Oh, and by the way... WHO is lowering American wages? The workers, or the people who pay them, or perhaps the people who are running our economy into the ground (who, need I say, are very much NOT from Mexico?)

Check out this one I got tonight from "JPChase Morgan&co":

Dear Chase Account Holder service!

JPMORGAN CHASE is constantly working to increase
security for all Online Banking users. Due to the corruption of fraudstars online,we just made a suggestion about your 2006 SSL server,just to ensure that your personal account is well secured,to verify that your account have not been spammed by online fraudsters,Please confirm your banking details by following the link below...

report fraudulent e-mail [MY ASS!]

If you have not activated Free Alerts and believe you might have received this message in error, please contact the Customer Center immediately at 1-877-CHASEPC.

Sincerely,

Online Banking Team

I just love that these idiots slipped up and called themselves "fraudstars." Honey, you wish.